Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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