I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
