i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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