Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
