Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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