I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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