Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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