There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
