if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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