WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boob is missing a layer of skin
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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