Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
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update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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