who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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