Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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