the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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