"it" just moved
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
