Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm really busy with my period
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