i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My first STD was from a foam party
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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