I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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