I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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