this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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