Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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