I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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