They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
