i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
