He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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