I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
