Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
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Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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