If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
