Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
