the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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