Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
