I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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