I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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