My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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