i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
