plz talk dirty to me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
and she was petting her beer can
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
