he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
