I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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