Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
