I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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