My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
