Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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