She's JV to your varsity
look no pants
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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