i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize