I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
