i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
