We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize