Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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