I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
