Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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