i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
