she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
