This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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