dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
