Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize