the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
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Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.