Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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  (401): My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study. http://tfl.nu/037f
  Replies (17) Good night (2332) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly

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  (813): So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly http://tfl.nu/tnq1
  Replies (15) Good night (3992) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.

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  (610): The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices. http://tfl.nu/tdjd
  Replies (22) Good night (1269) Bad night (7279) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.

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  (780): She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile. http://tfl.nu/gnnf
  Replies (12) Good night (6077) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.

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  (214): So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest. http://tfl.nu/6468
  Replies (9) Good night (880) Bad night (2148) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?

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  (360): True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not? http://tfl.nu/5au2
  Replies (4) Good night (2087) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.

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  (641): I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck. http://tfl.nu/aulp
  Replies (3) Good night (1389) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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  (316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h
  Replies (20) Good night (2349) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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  (978): I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. http://tfl.nu/so98
  Replies (13) Good night (1567) Bad night (386)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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  (214): Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed. http://tfl.nu/czkr
  Replies (8) Good night (508) Bad night (1274)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE

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  (330): I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE http://tfl.nu/air0
  Replies (4) Good night (1219) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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  (513): I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know..... http://tfl.nu/0xlu
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..

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  (216): Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started.. http://tfl.nu/1p0k
  Replies (9) Good night (1172) Bad night (341)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Thanks for fucking me in last night

  (435): View more from Utah

  TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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  (435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm
  Replies (10) Good night (1349) Bad night (156)

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