it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle