And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.