I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize