thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
