like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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