If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
COCAINE IS GR8
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
