Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
